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20 December My First Semester at KSUHaving been here (U.S) for four months, I am done with the first semester. How time flies, the memory of the starry night when I first arrived at our little apple is still vivid in mind. After saying goodbye to my dear friends, seeing tears crowding down mom's face at the airport, and telling myself to be strong during the long trip, I finally lay on a bed, staring at the sparkling stars through the window, and enjoying my first peaceful night in Manhattan. At that moment, I felt unexpectedly free and relaxed. I made it. After all the effort and pressure, I am here, facing a whole new life.
Courses were not that hard to me. Previous training in math enabled me to finish each assignment in a couple of hours and to do a relatively good job in each test, which surprised a few of my classmates. Their praise were too much that I almost forgot who I am. In heart, I clearly know that I am far from prepared to be a real scholar who can deeply analyze what intersts oneself. I dare not linger, so I forced myself to learn something in my sufficient spare time. I went to a professor's office to ask for some papers to read, and started learning Rudin's "Mathematical Analysis" by myself. I thought by doing these, I fully utilized my time. Till a sunny afternoon, I found that it was merely an ineffective way to provide a positive self-image that I was learning something. That afternoon, one of my American friends asked me:"Do you read, Laura?" I said:"Not really." He said:"Why? You do not like reading or you do not have time?" Suddenly, I did not know what to say. Because I do love reading and I have a lot of time. I do not know since when I lost my passion in reading, which used to be of the first place on my hobby list. Reading, to me, is like going on a journey with the writer and is a sign that you care what others think. It is high time to picked up my habbit of reading! The first book I read is "Freakconomics", which is so popular that a nutrition-majored Madam who works at help-desk of our library has one copy at home. I found Steven's research really fascinating, and the topics he discussed are quite interesting. His creative thinking, perfectly combined with his talents in dealing with numbers, are gifts from God. In addtition, I do like the way Stephen writes, what a professional journalist who has the power to produce sharply clear pictures in readers' minds. The book extended my concept of what economics is and made me believe that my major is the most interesting one in the world. The second book I read is "Discover Your Inner Economist", and actually I just finished it this afternoon. Rather than talking about economics in life, the book is, as I see it, more like a collection of knowlege in different fields, say art, food, charity, and etc. I specially like Tyler's discussion on signaling and self-deception, and they are rooted from his wisdom and observation of life. One line in the last chapter caught my attention and I could not agree more, "Just as culture often relies on markets, so do markets require cultural foundations". After I started reading, I could not help leaving those academic papers with dust. They are too dull. I thought I could force myself to do something I am not interested in. I was wrong.
Friends, to whom you can talk with your heart, are important to me, and I am lucky that I found real friends on each stage of my life. In the past a few months, there are two people I am most thankful for. One is Gunjan, a pretty and smart Indian girl. I like her warm smile and caring heart. We share food, ideas, and the most delicate part of our hearts. She brought food when I was starving, she took care of me when I was sick, she helped me get through the days when my heart was broken, and she let me feel I was not alone here. Gunjan, your kindness, intelligence and diligence will bring you happiness, and no matter what happens, I will always be there for you. The other is Chris, a handsome and intelligent American boy. He is the one who asked me "Do you read?". He is good at tennis, frisbee, writing, making pasta and thinking like an economist. He does much sports and eats many brownies, but still keeping a slander figure. He laughed when I said something serious, but being serious when I said I worry that I am not pretty enough. Chris, you are such an erudite and funny person that I do enjoy talking and sharing ideas with you. I forgot to tell you that it is you who light my lost passion for reading, writing, and thinking.
Some people are afraid of cultural shock, I am not one of them. I am constantly curious about cultural difference and anxious to absorb anything new and right. I was confused by Western people's courtesy when I started learning English. I wondered why people in the text say "Thanks" to those who return the earser to them. But now, I say "Excuse me" when I give a sneeze, "Thanks" when I hand in the homework, and "Have a nice day" when I get off the shuttle bus. I never know what is like inside a bar in China. But now, I go to bar with friends in late night, chatting, drinking, and getting crazy in the end. Four months ago, all I knew about party was from movies. But now, I host a party myself.
Looking back helps me know where I am, and where I am going. You wonder the answer? I am in a library and I am going to a dining hall to have lunch.
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